7 days without Mr. Souza.

Well, this is the blog that never really happened. I tried hard but was never able to get back to it. Guess that speaks to the crazy!...


Sunday:

The easiest of all days (mostly because it was time for bed after I got home from taking John to the airport). Kids showered and went down for bed without too much fuss. Very thankful for Jaime wearing them out at the park. Pretty uneventful night....until 4:30am. I woke up to the loudest shrill and about jumped out of bed (except I was too scared to actually get out of bed)!! Once the shock wore off, I was able to associate the sound with a Zhu Zhu pet, one that I was never able to find. That's life with boys.


Monday:

So thankful for friends like Kim Parker! She offered to take my kids to school so I wouldn't have to get the heard up and out the door before 8:00am. A very peaceful morning for which I am very grateful. Just after breakfast with the little boys, Benjamin brings me a tennis ball...covered in poop. I quickly stop nursing Kennedy and go to remedy the situation. 1 diaper, 1 plastic bag, 10 baby wipes and a million Lysol wipes later, all is well. 10:00am, poop explosion from Kennedy. 11:00am, poop explosion from Isabella. Conclusion, there is too much poop in my life, time to start thinking about potty training Benjamin. Oy! Thanks to Kim also bringing the kids home from school, I was able to take a nap AND a shower today as well as do ALL of my thank you cards. Feeling very accomplished right now! After getting some homework out of the way, loaded up all the kids and headed to run errands. Post Office, Bank & Pizza with a car full of screaming babies. Good times. Thank God for food. Food always stops the crying. Scary. This is how food dependency is started. I totally get it. Things started to get a little nuts again after homework. Nana to the rescue. She held Kennedy and read to Zoe while I got all the boys bathed and ready for bed. Once everyone was down, I collapsed on the couch with Kennedy and watched the first few episodes of the Cosby Show. What a classic. This is when the thunder started. Oh. My. Word. A serious storm. We've never had the power go out at this house but I sure wasn't going to chance it while John out of town. I'm afraid enough as it is. I went to the garage and hunted through the camping equipment until I found a lantern. With the lantern by my bedside, I was ok to go to sleep.


Tuesday:

I thought the storm was bad last night?!?! You can't even see down our street. It's pouring buckets and with the big kids off to school, a very scared Iggi and Benjamin climb into my bed for some cartoons while we wait and see if the storm will pass. About 10:00am things had cleared up enough that I felt safe to drive and we loaded up the car to head out for a play date at Emily's. Loving hanging out with Emily, Bonnie and a whole heard of children. Emily very graciously fed us all lunch and a little after noon we loaded up to head back home. Papa was staying with the kids while I headed off to the dentist. What was I thinking? I was convinced that because I wanted Kennedy to sleep through my whole appointment that she would. Ha! She started crying about 2 minutes into my cleaning. After Kennedy being passed back and forth from hygienist to hygienist while I had the quickest and most painful cleaning I've ever had, I nursed her while I waited to get my teeth polished. When the young gal walked in to polish my teeth and saw me nursing, she very quickly walked out and apologized. Still can't figure out why nursing freaks people out so much. Once I had Kennedy back in her car seat, she started on the polishing. I went over to the other side of the office to get xrays and have my exam. Kennedy waiting outside the room for me, what a big girl ;) And...NO cavities!! :D After getting home, Dad left pretty quickly to take care of his business and I got back to addressing announcements. A few minutes later, the rest of the crew got home and we got to homework. Joe stopped by to say hi and meet Kennedy for a few minutes before heading to the airport. After dinner we got back to homework. Bleh! It's only week 3 of this school year and I'm SO done with homework.

Wednesday:

It rained more last night but this morning it seems to have lifted. I took the kids to the park, very much in need of fresh air and outdoors. How do people do it in places where it rains all the time? We had planned to meet some friends and before they arrived, we played on the swings. I must have been a sight. The only people at the park, I was pushing 3 kids while nursing Kennedy. Ha! I'm an old pro now. Our friends got there and as fabulous as the playground looked to me, the kids thought the mud was a much more interesting option. After a few hours of good conversation with a grown up, it was time to go and I was not letting those muddy boys in my car! With Jackson and Benjamin stripped down to their underwear and diaper, we headed home. Lunch and nap for the kids and a little cat nap for mommy before a visit from Stephanie and Gunnar. I can't help but think about how God works miracles every time I see Gunnar and remember back to the first time I visited him in the hospital. He was born at 29 weeks and tiny as can be. You'd never know it now!


Thursday:

Friday:

Saturday:

Isabella.

On December 2, 2010 the phone rang, it was DFS. Seeing any phone number that starts with 455 always makes my stomach turn just a little. Not sure why. My kids are my kids and no one can change that. I think it just brings back memories of waiting to hear the out come of meetings or hearing when the next possible life changing court date might be or that the person on the other end has a child that needs to be placed in a loving, safe home. That was the case on this day. The woman on the other line was looking for placement for a 13 day old baby girl that was born drug exposed and currently detoxing with methadone. Yowza. Were we ready for this? A baby girl from the hospital, how ideal. A drug exposed baby girl from the hospital, how scary. I asked her a few more questions then asked if I could call my husband and call her back. I briefly spoke with John, I think my excitement was a bit too much for him. We prayed and felt God was leading us to bring this sweet girl home. I called placement back and got all the details, called a sitter and drove to Summerlin Hospital to pick up a baby that would again change our lives. I walked into the NICU and was lead over to the tiniest little baby girl. Born at 5lbs 2oz and currently weighing 4lbs 13oz, she was so small. The nurses gave me the run down of her feeding and medicine schedule then I packed up all of her stuff, put her tiny little body in the car seat and walked out the door. What on earth had I just done? Was I really ready for this? The next few weeks are a blur of detoxing screams and loads of sleepless nights. I couldn't believe what a fighter this little girl was. Shaking fits, endless screaming, and random things like endless sneezing. Every time she was given her methadone, her eyes would dilate and she would instantly chill. It was crazy. She was slowly gaining weight and at the same time, her dose was going down every few weeks. It was almost 3 months before she was completely off. Isabella is now 8 1/2 months old and you'd never know of her early struggles looking at her now. She is eating, crawling, pulling up on everything, even climbing the stairs. She is just about sleeping through the night which I never thought was possible in those early days when she wasn't sleeping more than 10 minutes at a time. I'm amazed daily at how God restores. We have no idea what the future holds for Isabella and if she will be apart of our family for a little longer or forever, only Jesus knows. For now, we will love her and care for her and pray over her sweet little life.